Sunday, August 31, 2008

Emmy Doodle's Exclamations

At the breakfast table, almost every day, one of our children asks if we are going to church today. Our road to the church is a dirt road and it got washed out last week because of all the rain. We had to cancel church last Wednesday night since no one could drive on it. Well, this morning, Lauren asked, "Are we going to church today?"
Emmy quickly answers, "NO! We can't. Someone pooped at church."

Thanks for the warning, Emmers. DO NOT GO IN THERE!

BTW, we had church this morning. Very small crowd, though. Apparantly the rumor about the poop got out.

Friday, August 29, 2008

And The Guest Blogger is.......

Shelley from I'm Changing My Name To Ouisa is my guest blogger today. She is a very dear friend to me (I'm on the phone with her as I'm typing, Hi Shell!).

This woman has the most infectious laugh I have ever heard in my life. She is a former member of the church where my husband pastors. She and her family just moved away from the church in a cow pasture (that's what we call it; and, I know, the blog is really outdated!) to live in a cow pasture. How's that for cruel irony? She can now tell you everything you never wanted to know about tractors, hay and cutting cows. Ask her about Sweetums (did I get that right?).

This is one of the most hilarious posts I have ever read from Shell. She is always funny, but this one hit close to home since we had a similar experience that I'll blog about next week. Enjoy the read and love her in comments......she will love you back, I promise.......

New Car Smell :) (My Title, since Michelle rarely titles)

Yesterday, I forgot the cardinal rule of being a mother of three.......Never trust them....don't turn your back on them.Okay, I used to drive a really nice vehicle. A beautiful Chevrolet S-10 pickup. The most beautiful shade of blue you could hope for. I kept that baby squeaky clean. No trash in the floor, no dust on the dashboard. Man, it was smokin'.Fast forward fourteen years and three kids later. It is just something that I have had to let go. A messy, nasty ride. The grocery getter. If I had a rocking chair tied to the top, I could win the best Redneck ride ever. So, yesterday, I lost it. I opened the back door of my mini=van and trash spilled out onto the ground.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't stand it one more minute. I grabbed my 12 (excuse me, almost 13 year old) son and headed down to the friendly neighborhood car wash and vacuum place. Then spent a good twenty minutes sweating and fussing about all the twelve pounds of dried up french fries I found between the back seat the and wall of the car. YUCK...... I could have filled a recycle box with all the trash that came out of that back area. Stink? Oh, don't even get me started. I found a half eaten box of chicken nuggets in the bottom of the overflowing trash can. Apparently, they had gotten wet at some point and we were definitely trying to win a science award for growing cultures in the garbage.So, I'm all proud of this nice, clean van. I could just cry it looked so good. And then it happened, I think it was the heat that did son says, "Mom, look here, it's one of them fragrance machines". And because I was gagging over the smell of those rotten chicken nuggets, I said to myself, "Self, I bet the car would smell soooooooooo good. Ooooh, they have a baby powder scented spray. Who doesn't love baby powder???? I'm no communist, I love the smell of a freshly diapered infant and the smell of their heads, is just wonderful. But I digress, I dug four of my hard earned quarters out of my pocket and ching, ching, ching, ching, in they went. And this nozzle from H -E- double hockey sticks starts spraying this fragrance.Now the instructions are 4 quarters for 40 seconds of spray. AND that you should spray under the back of the front seats of the vehicle. I was ready to stop spraying at 3 seconds. But, in these hard economic times, I really couldn't justify wasting 37 seconds of sprayed fragrance, could I?

The smell was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo loud. We had to drive with the windows down. When I got out at home, my head was throbbing...It was a mistake and I was so sorry. BUT, not as sorry as I was today. Yikesarama. That is some strong stuff.

Okay, I am chuckling as I read this because when my 6 year old daughter got in the car today, she wrinkled her pretty little nose and said, "Mom, did you spray bug spray in here or did you just toot?"

Don't trust them.......and never turn your back on them.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

You Asked For It...

Actually, I asked you, to ask me, but technically......well are the answers to your somewhat probing questions......

Hot Tub Lizzy (My Secret Agent Friend....:) asks:

What's your biggest pet peeve about being a pastor's wife?

I think one of the biggest pet peeves is the unrealistic expectations from people. My kids are unruly just like yours. My husband and I argue, just like everyone else. The Holy Bible doesn't sit as a center piece on our coffee table. We don't even have a coffee table.

We have been very blessed with our church family. They accept us just the way we are. Flaws and all.

Living in a glass fish bowl does get wearing, but it keeps us aware that, at any time, someone should be able to walk into our home and not find anything that would make them question our sincerity as believers in Christ. Jesus sees it all anyway.

Do you prefer hot drinks or cold?

I love me some hot java, but really ice is a must in pretty much everything else. Even milk.

Silver or Gold?

Both. Mostly gold. I may start selling off the stuff I don't wear anymore, though. Do you know how much gold is going for these days? Whooo. My mom took some old gold jewerly to a gold exchange and got $700!!!

Do you like plaid?

Girl, if you were to open up my closet right now, it would be like looking at one of those optical illusions. Plaid is so FETCH!

Yes....yes. I like plaid.

My kin sister by way of a redheaded child, Caroline, was very curious:

* Please explain how it is that mothers taking care of children who are pooping and vomiting their guts out never get sick?

I wasn't so fortunate. I puked my guts out last night. I had this question answered yesterday in a totally different way, but I guess I counted my chunks before they hurled.

* What is your favorite restaurant and your favorite thing to while dining there?

My favorite restaurant would have to be anything Mexican! Chicken Enchiladas with refried beans and rice. Extra sour cream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Q-Doba is definitely in the top 5.
Great Question, Caroline!

* If the Vice President died, who would be left to be President?

That would be, Who is the Speaker of the House, Alex. A bleak outlook in Nancy Pelossi. Yuck!

* If I were to vote for neither of the presidential candidates, would Huckabee win?

Oh, I so wish so, my dear. We can live in that dream together, 'kay?

* What IS the hardest part of living the life in ministry?

Finding workers. It's hard to do everything yourself and that's not the way God designed it to be. I can't just say, "Honey, I don't feel like going to church today. Let's just sleep in." I wish all believers had that same sense of responsibility.

* How many fingers am I holding up?

Thanks for the sign language, Caroline. I love you, too.

* If you drink coffee, do you add the cream and sugar first before pouring the coffee or after pouring?

Sugar before.

Cream after.

No doubt, the only right way.

My coffee can't be too dark(too strong) or too light(too weak), it must be just right. The only way to ensure perfect color is to add milk until it looks like a camel's coat.

Sugar gets added before, because that never changes. 3 spoonfuls. Yes, I'm begging to go into some sort of diabetic coma, but it's a survival technique. Come live a day in Paradise and then see if you're still gasping in shock and shagrin. It's the only way I can type 154 words per minute. (I'm totally lying about that last remark, but my justification for how much sugar I use just doesn't really hold much water.)


My dear friend, who doesn't laugh ever (today's opposite day :), Shelley a.k.a. Gigglebox asks:

Why is the sky called blue?
God said so.

Do you see green the same way I do?

I was always told green is the true color of love :) or was that "lust"? Is that the way you see it? Nerd.

Why? To maintain my Proverbs 31 status, I must abstain from answering.....:D

What is up with all the word verifications I have to do just to leave a comment?

It's to keep all those yucky people from trying to leave me yucky comments, like "You wanna join my blog cult? Click here."


Angie, my favorite clown from the Circus asks:

What's your favorite childhood memory?

That would have to be the Girls' trip to Georgia with my mom and my sis when I gave a foot concert on the dashboard singing the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack. (Another post entirely) My toes are very talented.


Ronnica, a woman on a mission (seriously, check this girl out):

What's the biggest blessing you or your family has received from your congregation?

I don't think I could pin it down to one. We have been very blessed by our church family. Pastor Appreciation is a big deal is this church. They make us feel very loved. They also celebrate our Anniversary with the church every year.


My wacky childhood friend, Karen, is killin' me with this question:

How come it was OK for Mrs.Majors to sit at her desk and eat fried chicken and mashed potatos all day long (all the while licking her fingers), but if we were caught chewing gum, we got detention??......

All I can say you see any resemblance??? Just darken the hair and add mashed potatoes and Voila! Mrs. Majors. "Chill'ren, spit that gum out befo I send yo butt down to Mr. Robinson's office."


My new friend, Kori, was quite curious. Please click her name and go see her beautiful family. She has been such a blessing to me.

Favorite color?

Earth Tones (does that count?)

Favorite vacation spot?

Tallahassee( I know that sounds silly, but I love that town. More because of who lives there. My BFF)

Favorite Bible Verse?

Galatians 5:1 "It is for freedom Christ has set up free. Stand firm then, and do not be burdened any longer by a yoke of slavery."

Favorite candy?

Hershey bar with almonds

pencils or pens?

Black Ink Pens

favorite smell?


gum or mints?

Just wanna give a little shout out for Extra Berry Pearadise

ketchup or mustard?


pepsi or coke?

Wild Cherry Pepsi


Anissa, my little bumble bee with the cutest, dimpliest child I've ever seen asks:

Why do the stars twinkle?

To quote Pumba from the Lion King "I always thought they were balls of gas burning millions of miles away." Timon: "Pumba, everything with you is gas."


Lula. How does one describe in words??? My Twin. on....:

If you could go back to any moment in history, where would you go?

To the time my grandfathers were alive.

Why? I never knew either of them.

What fictional character would you spend an evening of passion with, if God allowed it?
(You so know my answer to this one!)

A fictional version of my hubby. :) I know. I'm no fun.

Why don't others understand that Twin Peaks was a truly awesome show?

Lula, this is a question that has plagued me for centuries years (I'm really not a vampire). I can hear the music playing in my head as I type and I'm shivering.

If you could be a guest on any television talk show, whose couch would you sit on?

Okay, I know I will receive some flack for this, but Ellen. I totally love her show. Not so much recently, but just to dance across the coffee table.....

Do pastors live in glass houses? ('Cause small town doctors certainly do!)

Oh yes. Quick story. When Eric and I were single and in ministry we used to eat supper sitting at the couch. Very informal. We would watch TV and we would prop our plates on the arms of the couch. To do this, we had to sit on opposite ends of the couch. We had a big picture window, which the couch was right up against. One night at church, one of the girls from our youth group came up to me and asked me if Eric and I had a fight. I told her no. "Why do you ask?" She informed me that when she drove by our house the day before, she saw us sitting on seperate ends of the couch and she thought we weren't speaking to one another. Glass house? Oh yeah.


Hi Staci Here, i surfed over from the Hot Tubb...

Okay have you read "The Shack"?

No, I haven't. But I'm intrigued.

If not have you heard of it?

Not until now.

If you have heard of it do you plan on reading it?

I would like to find out more about it. I will be researching it. That's for sure.

And if you have heard of it what do you think of the conterversy surrounding the book?

Yikes. I just read some of it and I don't like the sounds of it. I will have to do some more research. I just read a little of one article so it will take me more time. Sounds like a future post, hey?


Adelaine, who must be totally stressed trying to rake her leaves (click to see what I mean) asks:

Who in your family has Celiac Disease?

This is still a mystery. I have done some research on both sides and haven't found anyone else with it. I know they say it's hereditary, but I may never know.....

Was your husband called to the ministry before or after you were married? And what were your feelings about his calling?


I've been on board 100% the entire time. I consider myself his co-laborer in our ministry.


Dee Dee, my BFF's mom and my spiritual guru (jk, but seriously, my mentor!!! I love you, Sara):

I'd like to hear the answer to the question about Ms. Majors. And didn't she threaten to "cut your butt off"?

I think she goes down as the worst teacher in history for that one. And I believe the term she used was "Yo butt!" (I can hear you laughing Sara, and I'm laughing because of it.)

And did she ever teach you anything besides BAD MANNERS?

She taught me how to suck on my teeth after eating corn on the cob. It's very bad manners to have food stuck in your teeth, Sara.

2nd - What did you and Robin used to do that I never knew?

You dropped us off at a high school soccer game and we walked over the Glades Road bridge and went to a Chinese restaurant. We walked back to the game and you picked us up. (Our escapades always involved food. Nothing's changed.)

3rd - I'm with the blogger that wants to know WHY DO I HAVE TO TYPE WORD VERIFICATIONS just to comment on your blog when I have known you since you were in the 3rd grade?

How can I really know it's you.........hmmmmmmmmm?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Bunny Hugger

Most of you don't know my husband from anyone, but a bunny hugger he is not. He can hunt deer with the best of 'em. He must be getting soft in his old age. He runs in the morning and made a furry discovery on his travels today. I took the kids to school this morning and went grocery shopping. I arrived home to find this on top of my REFRIGERATOR!

Can I just tell you how disturbing this is on so many levels? Notice the purple bin that was formerly used for toys and now has the carcass of a bunny. On top of the refrigerator. Where I am going to unload our food. That we eat. Anyone coming for dinner tonight?

***Update on the bunny for the inquiring minds. The bunny has perished. My husband, in his best efforts, tried to rescue Thumper (that's what we'll call him). He fed it water through a syringe in an attempt to hydrate the little guy, but to no avail. He now rests in peace in our backyard. Thank you for your concern and no, my husband did not just put a dead bunny on top of our refrigerator. He thought it may have a chance to survive. He was well intentioned.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Keep 'em Comin'

I am going to wait a few days to post the answers. Keep the questions coming. I finally got the bug last night. I had a pretty mild case, thank you Jesus. Emmy started puking again this morning. Michael and Lauren did make it to school today, thank you Jesus.

I'm hope the thing with Emmy is just a fluke. I feel so bad for her. Phenergan is our friend.

Karen, I'm going to have to sit on that question for a while. I thought therapy had helped until you dredge up that Madea-on-crack teacher. Piece be steel.....

My guest blogger day will be coming soon, too.

Check back for the answers on Thursday....until then....

Monday, August 25, 2008

Ask The Pastor.........'s Wife

Okay, I once again am jumping on a bandwagon. The Q & A bandwagon. I would like to entertain your questions. Here's how this works.
Leave a comment on this post. Ask me anything you'd like. I will let you know if it's something I'm not able or willing to answer.

Keep in mind. I'm a pastor's wife. There are some things I'm not able to discuss to protect the privacy and anonymity of our church family. I doubt your questions will even go there, but the disclaimer is necessary, nonetheless.

Your questions can be theological, but I am not the one who went to Seminary. If you have a question for my hubby, I would be glad to include those, too.

I will take anything from "What's your favorite food?" to "What's the hardest part about life in ministry?"

So, ask away. Don't leave me hangin'......

***Update on the family. Michael started the bug, last evening. I'm praying that this is the end of it. He does not have it as serious as Emmy. He didn't even wake me up when he threw up last night. He kept the trash can by his bed and took care of bid'niss. What a big boy he is turning out to be. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and well wishes. I can't tell you how much it means. I love you, my bloggy family.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Family Wellness (or lack thereof) Update

****Attention Kori, this is another puke post. Read with caution....:)

I had no idea what I was in for this weekend. I have never, in my life, dealt with so much puke!

Lauren and Eric started to feel better yesterday. They just kind of laid around the house all day. The TV never went off. I caught up on New Moon and did laundry and dishes. I'm totally sleep deprived and it's actually working to my home's advantage.

Enter Emily. Saturday evening, around 10 p.m. or so, she comes out of her room complaining of a tummy ache. I really kind of dismissed her because she copies whatever her big sis is doing and she will use any excuse in the book to get out of bed. I asked her where it hurt. She pointed at her upper chest. Case closed. The faker.

Boy was I wrong. The clock struck midnight and Emily quickly made the girl from the Exorcist look like Holly Hobby. She puked every five minutes for the next hour and a half. Dry heaves.

She started to pace herself a little and slowed down to every 45 minutes until 7 a.m. when I finally buckled and yes, went back to the ER.

George Clooney, where were you? I really needed to see you this morning.

She was dehydrated and couldn't keep anything down. Sound familiar. Thanks for stating the obvious, Melissa.

It's viral. Which translates, CONTAGIOUS.

There isn't enough Lysol in the world to keep this house from catching this really nasty, big, fat, cockroach like bug.

The doctor (who looked nothing like Dr. Carter or Dr. Kovach) gave her a shot of Phenergan and that stopped the vomiting......temporarily.

Sing it if you know it:

"Emmy had a shot in her leg of Phenergan,

but puke kept running down her chinnagin,

up went the suppository in her hiney-kin,

Poor little Emily, Phenergan, begin again."

That was my sorry attempt at a remake of a nursery rhyme.

Thank goodness Lauren Nightingale lives in our home. She gladly brought Emily her Gatorade in a basket to her room and stroked her hair off her face. She has the gift of compassion and mercy just oozing out of her. I love her for that. Affirm. Affirm. Affirm.

So, is it just a matter of time? Will Michael and mommy escape the crud? Will we soon be shoving anti-vomit suppositories into our exit only areas? (Sorry, I'm being crude) Stay tuned. I'm sure you all are just dying to see how this one wraps up.

The Pathway to Rome~By Beth Moore

The following bible study is taken from "To Live Is Christ" By Beth Moore:

Romans 6:1-23

We are Slaves to Righteousness:

  1. By reminding ourselves we are DEAD to sin (v. 11). ***Sin has no hold on you except that which you give it permission to have.
  2. By deliberately resisting the reign of sin (v. 12).
  3. By deliberately offering ourselves to God (v. 13; 12:1) ***Refuse Satan the right to have authority over you.
  4. By knowing our rights as those united with Christ (v. 14; Gal. 5:1). ***It is our right in Christ to be FREE!
  5. By not misapplying the doctrine of GRACE (v. 15). ***Salvation is a gift. Holiness is a pursuit.
  6. By realizing no substitute exists for whole-hearted obedience in our quest to be free from slavery to sin (v. 17). ***This one spoke directly to me!!!
  7. By facing the weakness of our natural selves (v. 19).
  8. By acknowledging the ever-increasing nature of wickedness (v. 19).
  9. By never forgetting the powerless feeling of being out of control (v. 20). (Moms, can I get a HOLLA or Hallelujer?)
  10. By counting the cost of slavery to sin (v. 21).
  11. By recognizing the benefit of slavery to God (v. 22; Micah 7:8, 18-19).

***Do the right thing, until your heart feels the right thing.

This was taken from a video session in the bible study I'm currently going through. I felt sick to my stomach while I was watching it because I knew God was dealing directly with me. I want to share this with you in the hopes that God will deal with you where you need dealing. If we are in Christ, we always need a little dealing with.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

They Call Me The Poop Checker/Vomit Catcher

Yep. You read that right. That's what I have been doing for the past 24 hours. Checking for poop and catching vomit with my bare hands. Talents like this run deep.

Lauren started out Wednesday with a bang. She came home from school not feeling well. She kept telling me she felt like throwing up, but it was just false alarms. Until.....we were in the car and I neglected to bring a bucket. Glorious uprising! Hellerrrr? (Madea-ese again) Why is it, mom's always try to catch the chunks as they are hurling outward? Do we really think we are accomplishing anything, but getting spewage all over us as well as everything else?

Well, by morning, we thought everything was better. Just a one time deal. Negatory, Junior Pig Pen. Thursday night, same thing. Friday morning I'm awakened by the retching coming from our bathroom. Hubby is hugging the bowl and pretty much indicating I'm in for a very long Friday.

Lauren then gets up and informs me she had an accident in her bed. I'm thinking, "Awww, you wet your bed." No such luck. Think other end. Are you starting to get the title of this post?

A bath, some Clorox Clean-up, and a load of laundry later, hubby starts yelping from the bedroom. I can't quite make out what he is trying to say in between pukes, but he starts clutching his stomach and writhing in pain.

Google Search: Symptoms of Appendicitis

Vomiting, Diarrhea, and pain in middle to right side of abdomen. Check. Check. Check.

Inner dialogue. "I have 3 children, 2 of which are still sleeping, 1 of which is pooing, and a husband with a possible appendectomy in his future......How does one go to the emergency room with all of the aforementioned?"

I called a few people I knew to see if they would put themselves at risk and venture into our little sick bay, so I could take my husband to the ER. First house, no answer. Second house, mom and dad are gone and 18 year old is home without a car to get to me. Not to mention, her road is flooded!

Beep. Beep. Beep. "Hellerrrr, 911? I think I need an ambulance to come get my husband. He can't walk or hold his head up and I think his appendix are about to burst."

Ambulance is on the way. Eric is mumbling something about ".....that's too expensive." Second house call has called back and says she is on her way. There is some relief in sight....

This all took place before 9:30 a.m. We arrived at the ER and they performed all kinds of tests. They ruled out appendicitis. They ruled out kidney stones. He was severely dehydrated for inability to keep anything down.

We got out of the hospital about 1 p.m.

I called our babysitter to check in on Lauren.

She threw up and poopied again.

So, when I got home, I dropped Eric off and turned right around and took Lauren to her Pediatrician. It's Friday. You know what that means, moms? If I don't take her in today, she'll be worse by tomorrow and I'll wish I had taken her in......been there? She was also severely dehydrated.

For some reason, when my family gets sick, they can't keep anything down. Fluids, meds, nuttin'. So the result, dehydration.

The crisis has been averted for the moment. I'm thankful it wasn't more serious.

Diagnosis? Viral Gastroenteritis. All that for the stomach flu.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Pipe Cleaners, Pasta Trains and Pelting Rain

Thank you Parents magazine for coming in time! I got my magazine chock full of ideas to help me keep the kids occupied while the rain came down and the floods came up. They really had a lot of good ideas this month.

First, we made pasta trains......aren't these adorable? I wanted to make sure I got photos before they were destroyed. That's why there is still glue showing....

Next, I just handed a bunch of pipe cleaners to the kids and let them do with them what they did. Here are the results:

Not quite sure what Lauren was going for, but she made a bunch of them!

Michael made glasses. Genius isn't he?

There were quite a few more great ideas, but this was a "Memo To Mommy" that I thought was some very helpful advice. Credit goes to Parents Magazine for this one (paranthetical input, mine):

Memo To Mommy

You have a lot of lessons to teach your little one, but he/she has a few words of wisdom for you too.

Stop freaking out about the mess! There's always time to clean--but how often do we get to make mud pies? (yeah, but who has to clean the crevices where the mud likes to get? Me that's who....)

Love me, even when I'm naughty. I'll only be this age once. (Oh Emily, they must know you.)

Be patient, I do everything for a reason, but I don't know enough words yet to give you an explanation. (Even when I overload the toilet with toilet paper! There's got to be a logical reason for that!)

Let me do it. I know you can do it faster and better, but sometimes experience is the best teacher. (Okay, here's where I need big help. Cracking eggs is not something I'm ready to allow.)

Don't expect too much of me. I want to do what you ask and make you happy, but I'm still little. (What can I say to this? They give me those eyes and I melt.)

Don't try to reason with me when I'm having a tantrum. Trust me--I can't hear you over my screaming. (Well then, how come when I threaten bodily harm, you quiet down?)

Don't keep asking me if I've been good. I'm not even sure what that means, but if I was bad I'd never admit it! (Bullseye!)

Don't let me think that you're perfect. I feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes. (A perfect mom wouldn't let her kids smack her booty)

Set limits. I can't actually eat a whole box of cookies--I just want to see if I'd get away with it. (Mommy is the only one allowed to eat the whole box. Do as I say, not as I do.....)

Keep your promises. It's all about trust. When I'm a teenager, you'll understand why it's so important. (Even the kind of promises like, "I promise I'll make you lunch in a few minutes." Blog. Blog. Blog....."Mom, you promised. It's been a few minutes." Type. Type. ""Honey, you can't tell time. You don't know how long I meant by a few minutes.")

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Lauren's Lyrics....

Rain, Rain, go away.

Come again another day.

Little Lauren wants to pet the kittens.

So please rain go away.

You Had To Know....

...I was going to post some first day of school pics. Faye could not keep us away from the first day. No way. I couldn't pass up that opportunity to be poetic.

So, we got 2 of our 3 children off to school yesterday. Now they're home today. How does that work? It's not funny. I know you're probably "tee-hee"ing on the other side of the screen at my tease of a break from the madness that makes my life blogworthy.

One day of school and BAM! We're all together again.

They cancelled school because of this "rain" that they think will develop into a "severe" thunderstorm. I hope I'm not being too carefree about what this tropical thing will do, but I get a little ancy when I get all geared up for having some "me and Emmy" time and well, some "just me" time, and then......lock down.
Okay, enough whining. My kids had a great first day of school.

Lauren was so cute as she hung up her backpack and sat in her seat. Her teacher had a story book at every seat and Lauren's favorite book, The 3 Little Pigs was at her's. Eric started reading it to her and she was just fine for us to be on our way. It was such a sweet good-bye. No crying. A little puking later in the day, but we just think her lunchable disagreed with her. She's fine now.

Michael has become old-hat at this now. He started 2nd grade and went right in and seem to do very well. He said his teacher is very nice and she does seem to be very well organized (my observation).

I love that it is a Christian school where they will be taught God's word everyday and prayer is an integral part of everything they do.

I can't wait to see what this year will bring!

Lauren with her teacher, Mrs. Johnson

Lauren giving daddy good-bye kisses

Emmy, Me (oh my gosh, I have bedhead, okay? I'm over it.) and Lauren

Aren't these just the most precious chillens you have ever seen. Bertiful! Hallelujer! (That's Madea-ese, in case you didn't know)

If you don't know Madea and her family, you must be introduced.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


I must have looked like a raving lunatic yesterday.

What was I thinking? Obviously, I wasn't.

Quite to my surprise, the library called in the afternoon. "Ma'am, New Moon has arrived and we will hold it for 3 days." I thanked them, hung up and squealed with unnecessary glee. After all, it's just a book. :)

So, I pack all the kids into the van and decide to head on over to the library to pick up the latest in my obsessions that is Twilight.

"Mom, can you check out a Magic Tree House book for me?" says Michael.

"Mom, a horsey book for me?" Lauren adds.

"I want one, too!" Emily says with a little bit of attitude, like I wasn't going to get her anything.

"No, you can't have a horsey book! That's my favorite," pipes up Lauren.

You can see where this is going.

Does this incessant arguing over trivial things ever stop?

I get some very random books quickly and go up to the checkout table. The librarian says, "Can I help you?"

I wanted to say, "Don't you recognize me? I was just here yesterday to request a copy of New Moon?"

What I did say was, "Yes, I believe you have a copy of New Moon behind the counter here for me."

"Oh yes, these books are very popular with the young crowd," she says, very nicely.

I wanted to say, "Uh huh, just scan it, lady. It's for me, okay. Yes, I have these 3 children and yes, I'm probably old enough to parent some of Twilight's readers, but lay off. It's therapeutic after dealing with these 3 all day."

What I did say was, "I know, it's crazy how good these books are! You should read them."

So, after leaving the library, I hadn't had quite enough drama, so I decided to head on over to the grocery store. I figured, with Faye on her way, I may want to stock up on some canned goods and such. Still praying, all the while, that the first day of school will NOT be cancelled due to weather. So far, so good.

I don't know about you, but for some reason when I hit the grocer with all 3 of my children, it's go time. My kids start whining about every. little. thing. This one has to go potty. That one wants to stop at the bakery for the free cookie that has staining sprinkles. One doesn't want to sit in the germ infested cart shaped like a race car that is rather difficult to steer.

So, like a good mom, I address the issues according to urgency. To the potty first. By the time we get back there (why this grocery store has placed the bathroom all the way at the back is beyond my comprehension), my 4 year old has about driven me mad with her whining about the cookie. So, I, no so gently, removed her from the cart that she didn't want to sit in in the first place, and take her kicking and screaming into the bathroom along with the child,who actually had to potty and the other child, who was actually being fairly well behaved at this point. You would have thought I was performing Chinese water torture on this child. I think she just needed a nap. The irrationality level at this point was so high, I don't know what else it could have been.

By the time I left the bathroom, I was ready to nix the trip through the store. I'm sure my hair said it all. Sloppy, tousled mess. It's times like this, I'm praying I don't see anyone from my church because I definitely don't feel altogether chipper or ready to discuss Sunday's sermon. Nevertheless, my son, bless his heart, asks me if he can pass out gospel tracts. I'm serious. He loves to tell people about Jesus. Isn't it just like the Lord to put that silver lining on a very ominous dark thunder cloud?
So, what Christian mother could say no to that? Of course, I let him. As long as he didn't leave the aisle we were on at the time.

A few aisles over, a man stops me, to tell me that he thinks it's great that I am teaching my children to do this. However, he then starts into a dissertation about why what I believe is in error and what the real meaning of the bible is.....Do I need to elaborate? Let's put it this way. I would usually only meet someone like this if I was at home talking to them through my door because they always come over when I'm still in my PJ's sans bra. You get my point? He starts in on me with this discussion and meanwhile I'm grabbing one child by the shirt, ssshhing another child and pursing my lips at another. I finally looked at him and said, "Sir, I'm not trying to be rude, but you can see I have 3 children here. This is really neither the time nor the place to discuss this. I'm very grounded in God's Word and I know what I believe. I need to get back to shopping. Be blessed." Well, wouldn't you know it, he didn't get the hint. He tracks me down again a couple of aisles over! Needless to say, I was firm, but pleasant.

I finally made it out of the store alive with all three children still intact. I threatened to pull the car over and other empty rants. I'm thinking of installing one of those automatic privacy windows, like they have in limousines. It would just be safer for everyone.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Good Night Twilight

I have finished a quarter of the ever popular Twilight series.

I must say, there aren't very many books that can hold my attention for very long. I won't usually read very long before I get distracted by other goings on around me.

This book was different. I started it last Monday evening and I finished it early this morning (Monday August 18th)....about 1 a.m. or so.... That's fast for me.

I have never read an entire book in one day.

I don't think I ever will.

I'm really not a bookworm.

I'm more of a booksnacker.

I take a bite.

Put it down.

Graze a little more.

Put it down.

Forget that I'm reading it.

Then I have to start over because I can't just pick back up where I left off.
I usually never start over, though. I don't want to reread everything. So, most of the books I've "read" never get "read".

Twilight was different.

Maybe I'm different.

My kids are getting older. I'm able to steal a few moments here and there. I can actually go to the bathroom and leave my kids unattended for a few minutes.

I did read more before I had children.

I was able to.

No distractions.

No diapers.

No messes, unless I made them.

Maybe that's what I love about this book. It takes me back to that feeling of new love. Before it gets complicated with life.
Don't get me wrong, Bella and Edward have complicated down to a tee.
But it's different.

Different than my complicated.

I can escape into someone else's drama that is polar opposite of mine.

That's it. That's what I love about this book. Thank you Stephanie Meyer. Thank you for not once mentioning my complicated life in your story of true love. Thank you for straying as far away as possible from the life that is mine. That's what will keep me coming back for more.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Emmy Doodle's Exclamations...

I have just been so tickled over the past few days at some of the silly word chatter of my 3 year old. I just want to document this before I forget it......

Lauren says, "Mom, tell Emily to leave me alone!"
Emily says, "But mom, I just want to smell her!"
Me, "Lauren, just let her smell you and then she will leave you alone."
Lauren had just taken a bath and smelled really sweet....
Emmy sniffs and says,"MMMM, she's smells good."

Saturday morning I fix breakfast for Emmy and myself. I was, fortunately, the last person up. My hubby let me sleep in, bless his soul. I fixed myself and Emmy a glass of OJ and set them on the table. I walked back into the kitchen and got my bowl of cereal to bring to the table. By the time I got back out to the dining room, Emmy had finished her glass of OJ and dumped my entire glass into her glass and was drinking it! I looked at her with frustration and she innocently looked up and said, "Can I have your awnge juice, mommy?"

The other day Michael had a friend over to play and Emmy had to go potty. She comes running out into the living room, naked from the waist down! I said, "Emmy, you can't come running out here without clothes on. We have company." She proceeds to ask me, "Why, because he will see my booty?"

On Thursday, Emmy locked herself in her room and then had to go pee. I didn't get to her in time, so I had a mess to clean up. I was just so thrilled to have to clean up pee, again! Emmy comes up behind me while I'm down on my hands and knees and pats me on the behind...and then giggles. "That's your booty mom. Hee hee."

Once of these days, Emmy, bam, right to the moon!

Sunday, August 17, 2008


(Excerpt from book, “Returning To Holiness”, by Dr. Gregory R. Frizzell)

1. Make an absolute commitment to consistently spend significant time alone with God in uninterrupted prayer.
Give God significant time on a daily basis.
2-3 minute devotions are by no means the pattern of Jesus
You must reject the modern idea that you can develop a deep prayer life “on the run.”
30 minutes to an hour is a good suggestion for a vibrant daily prayer life
Remember, the only way we learn to pray is to “show up for practice”
If you spend significant time alone with Jesus, He will utterly change your life!
1 Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray without ceasing.”
Though we must be very committed to prayer, we should never approach it as a legalistic bondage

2. Approach your prayer time as a relationship with God rather than a ritual.
· True prayer is a relationship!
· It is a love relationship with YOUR GOD!
· Many are so busy serving God that we neglect time alone with Him.
· When you approach prayer as a relationship, you will also learn to hear God’s voice on a daily basis.
· True prayer begins with listening to God.
· As you learn to listen, you are then sure what you are asking is God’s will.
· Learning to hear God is the greatest secret of answered prayer! (1 John 5:14-15)

3. Make a commitment to a balanced prayer life by regularly practicing the four different types of prayer.
· A.C.T.S. (Affirmation or Praise, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication or Intercession for others)
· It is essential that our prayer life be far more than a list of “needs and wants.”
· We must experience daily cleansing or we cannot maintain the power of the Holy Spirit.
· It is impossible to regularly experience all the types of prayer in only a 2-3 minute devotion.

4. In your daily petitions, focus more on issues of personal character and holiness than on temporal needs.
· God’s great priority is to conform you to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29)
· Make the 9 fruit of the Holy Spirit your daily personal prayer petition (Galatians 5:22)
· As you daily ask God to fill you with each fruit, also ask Him to show you how you don’t reflect that characteristic.
· The beatitudes also provide excellent personal petitions (Matthew 5).
· If you claim such prayers for your own heart, God will revolutionize your life!

5. In your daily intercession, focus more on issues of evangelism and missions than on temporal concerns.
· It is tragic that so much intercession is mainly focused on health and other temporal issues.
· God’s great priorities are the evangelization of the world and sweeping revival in the church (Matthew 28:18).
· God does incredible things when we focus our intercession on lost people, missions and revival!
· You may be wondering, “How can I focus my intercession on God’s great priorities?” Listed below are 5 powerful strategies.
1. Develop a prayer list of lost people and intercede for them daily.
2. Develop a prayer list of the key leaders and ministry strategies of your church. Pray for them regularly.
3. Compile a prayer list of key spiritual and government leaders. Pray for them regularly.
4. Regularly pray for vital mission strategies of your association, state and denomination. (You can get daily or weekly updates from your state and national denomination.)
5. Daily intercede for revival and spiritual awakening in your city and nation.

*Please do not feel that a powerful prayer life is out of your reach. If you are willing, God will revolutionize your praying and thus your walk with Him.

*Don’t let anything keep you from walking in full cleansing and dynamic prayer. No matter how weak you have been, you can become a powerful, biblical intercessor. If God is for you, who can be against you? (Romans 8:31)

Saturday, August 16, 2008

By Request...

Okay, so by your request, I'm post some more of our vacation pics. I have spent a good portion of this day doing nothing but reading Twilight. It's captivated me, slightly. I also spent my morning working on my Sunday School Lesson for church tomorrow. I am actually posting a portion of it in the morning. It was a really gooooood lesson. I am trying to keep to my promise to post a bible study of sorts once a week. Tomorrows is rather lengthy, but was very helpful for me.

So, without further ado......

Michael on the "Reel Bandit" with his Pipaw

Michael's first snorkeling trip to Sombrero Light

Grandma and the girl on their way to the boat dock


Safety First! These bathing suits work well for the girls!

Daddy and his Lala!

Stay tuned.....more to come......

Dear Mom,

***Just a little note of update. I wrote this very soon after this instance occured and I was still mad. I want you to know that I don't see this woman any different that I sometimes see myself. I ask myself the question almost daily, "What kind of mother am I?" This is not meant to be some self-righteous rant. Like I said, I may not curse directly at my children, but I have certainly muttered some colorful remarks to myself in the midst of a frustrating moment. Please read this objectively and try to understand that this is not me casting judgement, it's merely venting about a rather unpleasant experience.***

(Beginning of original post)
Not my mom. A mom. You know who you are. I'm kind of sad that the little boy who was with you has to call you mom. The way you treated him was totally out of line. I don't know that I have ever witnessed such a public display of humiliation before. How old was he? Nine. He couldn't have been more than ten. He was just asking you a question and then you open your dirty, nasty mouth and start spewing profanities at him, right in the middle of W@l-M@rt. Don't you think that was a little uncalled for? I know the look on my face probably told you that. I know we all get a little frustrated with our kids now and then. But saying, "I know what the h#ll you want, I don't need you to "f"ing tell me" is totally out of line. I'm just glad my kids weren't present, because then I may have had to butt in and open my big fat mouth and have you probably try to hurt me. I guess I should mind my own business, but you made this everyone's business with how loud you "diarrhea-ed" your yapper. I would have liked to think this was an isolated incident, but then you go and do it again. "What the "f" do you think I'm doing here? We're buying you your f#%!ing school clothes." What is it that makes you treat a child this way? Had you been drinking? Is this a normal thing? Was it expressly to embarrass and humiliate him in front of at least 5 others within earshot? His look said it all. This was normal to him. He seemed very used to hearing this. It didn't really appear to phase him externally. Internally, I'm sure you have to know, it is damaging beyond what you can possibly see. I have to then ask myself, what were you treated like as a child? Is that how someone talked to you? It's hard to be a parent. This I know full well. But I can't make excuses for you here. We all have a choice what comes out of our mouths. There are days when I absolutely, without a doubt, want to pull out all of my hair (Have you seen my hair? There's a lot of it.) and bang my head against a wall. My kids drive me nutso at least once a day. I am sometimes even tempted to swear. Sometimes, I even do, when they are not around. I have said the "sh" word in front of them, as my son likes to call it. "Sh"ut up. "OOOOhhhh, mom, you said the "sh" word!"
What is my point here? I guess it just cut me really deep when I saw this child who has no control over who his mom is, being verbally assaulted by someone who just needs to learn when to practice a little self-control. We all make mistakes. We all lose our cool. But the bad thing about words is, once they're out there you can't take them back.
"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorb the prints of it's handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair."~Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven.

Friday, August 15, 2008

The Answer.....

Well, a lot of you guessed the right answer.

Emily called out to me from the bathroom this afternoon. "Mom, come here!"

She had done her duty and needed to be wiped. As I am walking down the hall to the her, I see Lauren's and Michael's toothbrushes (not hers, mind you) on the floor at her feet.....

So, I said, "Emily, why are these on the floor?"

To which she innocently replies, "I don't know."

I proceeded to pick them up and they were soaking wet. "Emily, did you put these in the toilet?" I asked.

Eyes now on the floor, Emily says, "Yeeeess."

I am now visibly upset and I say, "Emily, you put their toothbrushes in the toilet?"

Then her answer changes to, "Noooo?"

One of these days all these little stories will make me chuckle and giggle and miss her being this age....for now all they do is help me have tons to blog about. Therapy. Good. Therapy.

Can You Guess What's Wrong?

What's wrong with this picture? I would like you to be creative and keep in mind I have a child that is devious and destructive on so many levels, it frightens the caca out of me.

That is my only hint. Good luck and stay tuned......

My Bald-Headed Hottie

Isn't he so cute? Admire ladies, but from a distance. He's taken. I know what your saying right now.......How did she get so lucky? No luck. Just ask God. It was all His idea.

In all seriousness, this pic was taken on our recent LOBSTER trip to The Florida Keys. We had a really great time and the boys (a.k.a. The Bug Squad) came back with 72 tails. It sounds impressive. I know. We've had years where they have come back with over 100! Things have changed. Everyone's feeling the hit of the economy. Lobsters don't go out as much. They stay home and enjoy family time. They found the real meaning of life. It's really kind of cute. But come on! It's expensive to go down year after year and come back with less and less every time. Throw us a bone tail here. All we ask for is, at least, enough of you (lobsters) to make the trip worth the outlay of fundage. I know what the readers are saying, "It's quality time and the thrill of the chase." This has been going on now for more than 20 years. I think the time has been of great quality. Now it's just business. Let's get to the bread bugs and butta. Know what I'm sayin'?

The kids had a blast. Michael got to snorkel for the first time. The water was absolutely gorgeous. The weather held up really well.

We swam, we got sun, and we sweat(ed?). It was stinking hot. I know it's summer and August, so, you can imagine how great our A/C felt when we retired for the day.

I have so many pics, it will take me several posts to show all of them. Probably not going to happen. Does anybody really care? If you do, email me....and I will gladly send you some.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Tooth Fairy Lives In Florida

This is a little shout out for a sweet little girl who is minus a tooth today! My kids decided to dedicate this post to Miss Libbey (Lula's eldest) who lives in our computer. They really think that, except Michael. He's a realist....

So, Libbey, this is for you from the Florida Tooth Fairy Association (FTFA)......(Sorry we spelled your name wrong in the photo!)

I'm Pretty Unspectacular

I received this little number from a new bloggy buddy and I am faithful to publish since she tagged me......thanks simply anonyMOM!

First you post the rules:

1. Link the person who tagged you.

2. Mention the rules on your blog.

3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks you possess.

4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

I, of course, think my life is kind of spectacular, hence my blog....:) However, not everything about me is hugely special. Here are some of the very mundane things you probably don't know about me.

  1. I go through a 15 pack of Extra Berry Pearadise gum in about 2 days.

  2. I always fall asleep on my left side wrapped completely around my goose-down body pillow.

  3. I call my husband "Schmoopie".

  4. I love Mexican food. I love it so much, I probably smell like enchiladas.

  5. I detest the sound of dripping water or water being wrung out. It literally sends chills through me.

  6. I'm obsessed with looking for blackheads! My husband doesn't like to walk around shirtless because he knows I'm probably on the hunt.

Okay, so there you have it. Six rather random, somewhat gross (re: #6), unspectacular things about moi. I am tagging some of goes.....







Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Supplies And Demand

School is almost back in session and I can't tell you how many trips I have taken to WM, Target, and Big K. I keep thinking I have everything and then.......Oh, they said 2 boxes of Kleenex or they wanted a 24 pack of Crayola crayons for $1.97 as opposed to the 8 pack I was able to buy for 15 cents. This is getting a little out of control. My son's 2nd grade school supply list was longer than my normal grocery list for a family of five (embellishment permitted to prove my point)! Not to mention uniforms, 2 new backpacks, shoes, and other non-essentials(in my humble, yet highly accurate opinion). And what is up with having to buy brand name everything? Let me show this list:

2 packs of #2 pencils
1 (2) pack of pink erasers
2 packs of wide ruled paper
3 single subject spiral notebooks
1 pack of 24 ct. Crayola crayons
1 pack of 12 count Crayola washable markers (fine line)
1 (3) pack glue sticks
1 bottle washable glue
3 (2) pocket folders
1 (2 in.) 3 ring binders
1 pack dividers
Water color paint and brush set
1 ruler (metric & inch)
1 pencil box
Fiskar (sharp) scissors
1 gallon size Ziploc bags
2 boxes of Kleenex Tissues
1 bottle hand sanitizer
2 containers of Clorox or Lysol wipes
2 containers of baby wipes
1 Lysol spray

This may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but I'm cheap a penny pincher. I don't usually buy namebrand anything except Yellow Box Flip Flops and Vera Bradley. I understand there is a quality issue here, and I know that's probably why the teacher wants name brand crayons instead of those cheapy dollar store kind that break if you breath too hard. But come on. Does it have to be Clorox, Kleenex, and Ziploc? Why can it not be Great Value, Red Dot and Blue Light Special? Is there really THAT much of a difference? Maybe I'm being petty over a few cents, but in the days of $4 gasoline, I do what I can to save money for Vera make ends meet.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Okay, I'm such a wannabe. I don't think original ideas exist. It's all a matter of timing. We may look original to those around us, but there is always somebody before us who paves the way. Hence, my newest bandwagon jump.........Twilight. I am only about 75 pages into this delicious tale of love and apples and ummm rain....but I must say.......Edward is a babe.

Like I needed another addiction. Thanks Lula, Heather and other contributors to my sickness. See, it's always someone else's fault. So, when I'm totally locking myself in the bathroom to try and get my fix, pray for me....:)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


I broke 10,000 Visitors!!! I'm so excited. Probably more than I should be. We are actually leaving today to head down to the Keys. We left home on Sunday, but we are leaving today from Eric's parents. I'm excited and overwhelmed with how much we have to get ready. I really need to get up off of this computer and go help, so I'll see ya'll in a few days. Party at my house when we get back! Get your plane tickets now! Buh bye!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Bug Squad....

We are off to the Keys for Lobster Season! Okay, we are only going for a week. My hubby calls his team of lobster divers (him, his dad, and our BIL) The Bug Squad.
I won't be blogging while we're gone, so I'll see you when I get back.....!!!!!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Close Call

I'm sure most of my readers know about a little "incident" that 0ccured in Emmy and Lala's bedroom.

It almost happened again. This is why I need to blog and watch TV a little less....
I know what you're going to say.......let me guess, "Did you not learn your lesson, Melissa?" or was it this, "Why do you still have lipstick where she can get to it?" Lay off! Okay??? I still need to put my "face" on. You think I should lock and key it?
Oh, she's crafty, this one. Sidenote: See the contour of her lips? She actually impressed me with her precision. Refocus: Yes, she's devious. She was supposed to be napping. I was watching a movie with Lala when I heard my bedroom door. She has done reconnaissance (yeah, baby, I didn't even need spellcheck for that one!). She knew just what she was after. It was her plan all along. Don't think so? Wise and cunning this one is she (Yoda). She will go far in life. She's ambitious, motivated and she scares the hooha out of me! Have you seen the butler from "Mr. Deeds"? He moves like a ninja and then next thing you know, he's right behind you.
Well, she cleverly sneaks, always looking over her shoulder and pulls a little "mission impossible" stunt.
What are your predictions for Emmy's future? What is her lot in life? Let me hear you......