Saturday, August 16, 2008

Dear Mom,

***Just a little note of update. I wrote this very soon after this instance occured and I was still mad. I want you to know that I don't see this woman any different that I sometimes see myself. I ask myself the question almost daily, "What kind of mother am I?" This is not meant to be some self-righteous rant. Like I said, I may not curse directly at my children, but I have certainly muttered some colorful remarks to myself in the midst of a frustrating moment. Please read this objectively and try to understand that this is not me casting judgement, it's merely venting about a rather unpleasant experience.***

(Beginning of original post)
Not my mom. A mom. You know who you are. I'm kind of sad that the little boy who was with you has to call you mom. The way you treated him was totally out of line. I don't know that I have ever witnessed such a public display of humiliation before. How old was he? Nine. He couldn't have been more than ten. He was just asking you a question and then you open your dirty, nasty mouth and start spewing profanities at him, right in the middle of W@l-M@rt. Don't you think that was a little uncalled for? I know the look on my face probably told you that. I know we all get a little frustrated with our kids now and then. But saying, "I know what the h#ll you want, I don't need you to "f"ing tell me" is totally out of line. I'm just glad my kids weren't present, because then I may have had to butt in and open my big fat mouth and have you probably try to hurt me. I guess I should mind my own business, but you made this everyone's business with how loud you "diarrhea-ed" your yapper. I would have liked to think this was an isolated incident, but then you go and do it again. "What the "f" do you think I'm doing here? We're buying you your f#%!ing school clothes." What is it that makes you treat a child this way? Had you been drinking? Is this a normal thing? Was it expressly to embarrass and humiliate him in front of at least 5 others within earshot? His look said it all. This was normal to him. He seemed very used to hearing this. It didn't really appear to phase him externally. Internally, I'm sure you have to know, it is damaging beyond what you can possibly see. I have to then ask myself, what were you treated like as a child? Is that how someone talked to you? It's hard to be a parent. This I know full well. But I can't make excuses for you here. We all have a choice what comes out of our mouths. There are days when I absolutely, without a doubt, want to pull out all of my hair (Have you seen my hair? There's a lot of it.) and bang my head against a wall. My kids drive me nutso at least once a day. I am sometimes even tempted to swear. Sometimes, I even do, when they are not around. I have said the "sh" word in front of them, as my son likes to call it. "Sh"ut up. "OOOOhhhh, mom, you said the "sh" word!"
What is my point here? I guess it just cut me really deep when I saw this child who has no control over who his mom is, being verbally assaulted by someone who just needs to learn when to practice a little self-control. We all make mistakes. We all lose our cool. But the bad thing about words is, once they're out there you can't take them back.
"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorb the prints of it's handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair."~Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven.

6 comments:

♥Anissa♥ said...

I would love to smack mom's like that -- it makes no since. When I went to the dent. the other day their were two teenage girls -- I would say not over 15 they were standing on the side of me playing with one of their cellphones I guess listening to the music and all of a sudden I heard I just called to say f--- you. And now anyone that know me I don't hold my mouth for something like that -- their where kids in that office -- So I told the little girl that was not something you play in a dent. office you are not showing any respect for people in here. She didn't say anything back not even her mom and she put it in her pocket. End of Story!

gideonmommasita said...

Grace

Melissa said...

Yes, I do need to have grace. Much grace has been given to me. It's just so hard when I see someone so flippantly using such harsh words with the future generation. I don't want to come across as judgmental. It just stung me really hard when I witnessed this.

Shelley said...

Melissa,

You know me and you know that I struggle with my mouth. By God's grace, He is still working on me, but I'm almost crying because I can think of a few times when I lost my cool with my kids. Thankfully, it was at home and not in the store. All I can say is, continue to pray for me that God will continue to work on that for me.
Good post.

CroppinRobin said...

it's all relative. what is unthinkable to you is everyday to others and vice versa.
even more evidence of our need of a savior.

angie said...

This is just aweful........so sad.