Sunday, September 7, 2008

mJESUSe

I'm such a people pleaser that this is really hard for me. I crying as I'm typing this. This is about as raw as it gets.

This will be my last week blogging.

I love the sisterhood of friends I have made. Some I hope will stay my friends even though I've made this decision.

I can't believe I'm crying. This seems so silly. This has become a huge part of my life. So much so, that I believe I must give it up.

I want to love Jesus more than anything else.

I don't.

I love blogging more.

I love food more. (I'm not giving that up, completely:)

I love TV more. (I've already given up a lot of that.)

I don't say this to brag or to dump or to say what's right for anyone else.

I just know this is right for me.

At church today, my husband preached a sermon that rocked my world. It made me realize just how insignificant this temporary life is in light of how MIGHTY and BIG and ETERNAL God is.

Some of ya'll probably didn't see this coming. Some of ya'll probably couldn't care less. Some of ya'll may try to talk me out of it.

I've heard the reasons for keeping a blog.
  • You can use your blog to witness (that's great, but word of mouth and living out loud is more effective)
  • You can affirm and encourage other believers (I can do that over the phone and by email, too)
  • You're funny and I enjoy hearing about your kids (give me your email and I will keep you updated)

I want to reiterate, I'm not saying that every Christian needs to stop blogging because it is SINFUL. I'm saying that it's become something that's more important than Christ to me. And, as far as I'm concerned, I have an idol on my hands.

God has called me to something higher. I wanted to serve the Lord with everything I have. Everything I am. Everything I'm not. Everything I hope to be.

I may make some of you mad. I may make some of you feel bad. That's not what this is about. This is about me and Jesus. He is and always will be on THE THRONE, but I have taken Him off the throne of my heart.

My kids have taken a backseat to blogging at times. I was talking to someone, the other night, who has become a dear friend to me in the past few months. She was telling me about this mom that had become obsessed with a certain celebrity and was checking his website and surfing the web all day and neglecting her kids--only getting up to give them food and then going right back to her obsession. That could so easily have been me. I woke up the morning after talking to her thinking to myself, "Melissa, you are that woman!" (I'm not that bad, but the potential is definitely there.) My kids and my sweet, committed loving husband are infinitely more important than my blog. They are the reason I have stuff to blog about.

So, with that said, I've probably got some of you reading this saying, "oooh she must be in one those cults that asks you to close off the outside world." I would say to those, I'm a Christ following, God-fearing, committed mother and wife who has realized, for me, what needs to change in my life. My priorities are out of whack and I'm putting them back where they belong.

If I don't receive a single comment on this post, that's okay.

To God be the glory, forever and ever, AMEN. "Christ in [me], the hope of glory" (Colossians 1:27).



18 comments:

Debbie said...

I can tell you that I was one post away from pulling the plug on it all last week as well. And I may still do it. I will respond to your email tonight. We must stay in touch.

oº˚ Anissa ˚ºo said...

Melissa you have to send me your e-mail so we can stay in touch. I love reading what you have to say. I am a true christian women I was saved a year ago. So I think we can talk and do each other some good. Much Love to you and you will be missed.

Anonymous said...

Mel, I'm not a blogging comrade. Just a lover of your blog (and you). I'm sure you have my addy and am hereby notifying you that I definitely want to know about your family's goings-on.

Love Jesus always,
Joel F
(from SD)

gideonmommasita said...

You were in my prayers yesterday and this morning. I wish it was as easy as giving up a blog...my idol is myself. It is so hard to put others first.

Simply AnonyMom said...

Your feelings are understandable and I will say I am sad to see you go. While I have only been reading you for a short while, I have read long enough to see that you are a great person, a loving wife and an awesome mom. I wish you the best in all you choose to do and I know that you will do what is best for your family. May you find peace in all you do.

Susan said...

Melissa your blog has been a pleasure to read. I completely understand your need to let it go. I have been considering this very subject a lot lately. Blogging can be so time consuming and addictive. It is not just the amount of time put into writing your own posts, but reading the wonderful posts that everyone else writes as well. If I spent as much time with God as I spend blogging, I am quite sure that my life would be dramatically different.
Thank you for the reality check! You will be missed!

CroppinRobin said...

and just when you turned into a blog celebrity.....

Kori said...

Sweet, sweet Melissa.

You are nothing short of wonderful. We haven't been friends long but I love you dearly. You have said some of the most inspiring things to me over the past few weeks that have touched my heart in ways only God knows. Thank you for your honesty and I do hope you will keep in touch. I will miss your lovely stories about puke most of all ya know. I feel that we have developed a great Godly friendship and I do very much wish to continue it. God bless you and yours immensely.

Heather said...

You will obviously be missed, but I understand. Please do keep in touch. My email is hkelsey@cinci.rr.com.

Take care. It's been great blogging together!

Joyfulsister said...

This is my first visit and I'm sorry I did not get a chance to find you earlier during my blogging visits. But I can understand where you are comming from. It can become addicting as well as time consumimg, all I can say is follow your heart, only you know what's best for you and your family, be blessed and at peace with what you decide that is all that matters.

God Bless Lorie

Shelley said...

Melissa,

I'm sorry to see you go. I totally understand though. I wish that you find peace with decision and that your life will have been enriched somehow by being a blogging buddy.

You know my email address.....keep in touch about those beautiful babies.
I love you.

Shelley

Caroline said...

Melissa, I am sad to see you leaving the blogging world, but excited about knowing that this is God's will and that you will experience great freedom and blessings through this. Let's still plan to keep in touch via phone and e-mail (cowengilmore@yahoo.com). Love you girl!

Lula! said...

Giiiiiirrrrl...
You gotta do what you gotta do. I have your back 110%, my friend.

We'll talk soon...oh yes, we will!

p.s. You could never be as bad as my friend--the super-obsessed one. And darnit, I still can't think of that show or the guy she was psycho over...oh well, bygones.

Sonya said...

Melissa....I wish you the very best and blessed life! You will be missed!!!! I totally enjoyed reading your posts, but I completely understand how blogging and other things can overtake your life.

Please know that I wish you the very best!

take Care!

Ronnica said...

As sad as I am to see you go, I'm glad that you are doing what God is calling you to do.

angie said...

So sad to see you go, Melissa.

I think you are so smart to be able to see your life in a larger perspective......a higher understanding? If blogging isn't bringing you closer to your ultimate goal, then I admire your strength in saying goodbye to it.

Karin @ 6ByHisDesign said...

So sorry to see you go, Melissa.
God's Peace.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

I'm so sorry to see you go, but I certainlly understand. Please, feel free to keep in touch via e-mail if you'd like... I'm always happy to have a friend...even if it's in the cyber world...

bkkgray@gmail.com

Bless you