mJESUSe

I'm such a people pleaser that this is really hard for me. I crying as I'm typing this. This is about as raw as it gets.

This will be my last week blogging.

I love the sisterhood of friends I have made. Some I hope will stay my friends even though I've made this decision.

I can't believe I'm crying. This seems so silly. This has become a huge part of my life. So much so, that I believe I must give it up.

I want to love Jesus more than anything else.

I don't.

I love blogging more.

I love food more. (I'm not giving that up, completely:)

I love TV more. (I've already given up a lot of that.)

I don't say this to brag or to dump or to say what's right for anyone else.

I just know this is right for me.

At church today, my husband preached a sermon that rocked my world. It made me realize just how insignificant this temporary life is in light of how MIGHTY and BIG and ETERNAL God is.

Some of ya'll probably didn't see this coming. Some of ya'll probably couldn't care less. Some of ya'll may try to talk me out of it.

I've heard the reasons for keeping a blog.

• You can use your blog to witness (that's great, but word of mouth and living out loud is more effective)
• You can affirm and encourage other believers (I can do that over the phone and by email, too)
• You're funny and I enjoy hearing about your kids (give me your email and I will keep you updated)

I want to reiterate, I'm not saying that every Christian needs to stop blogging because it is SINFUL. I'm saying that it's become something that's more important than Christ to me. And, as far as I'm concerned, I have an idol on my hands.

God has called me to something higher. I wanted to serve the Lord with everything I have. Everything I am. Everything I'm not. Everything I hope to be.

I may make some of you mad. I may make some of you feel bad. That's not what this is about. This is about me and Jesus. He is and always will be on THE THRONE, but I have taken Him off the throne of my heart.

My kids have taken a backseat to blogging at times. I was talking to someone, the other night, who has become a dear friend to me in the past few months. She was telling me about this mom that had become obsessed with a certain celebrity and was checking his website and surfing the web all day and neglecting her kids--only getting up to give them food and then going right back to her obsession. That could so easily have been me. I woke up the morning after talking to her thinking to myself, "Melissa, you are that woman!" (I'm not that bad, but the potential is definitely there.) My kids and my sweet, committed loving husband are infinitely more important than my blog. They are the reason I have stuff to blog about.

So, with that said, I've probably got some of you reading this saying, "oooh she must be in one those cults that asks you to close off the outside world." I would say to those, I'm a Christ following, God-fearing, committed mother and wife who has realized, for me, what needs to change in my life. My priorities are out of whack and I'm putting them back where they belong.

If I don't receive a single comment on this post, that's okay.

To God be the glory, forever and ever, AMEN. "Christ in [me], the hope of glory" (Colossians 1:27).