Sunday, July 27, 2008

Cats Are On My Naughty List...





Our cat, Stanley the manly kitty, is currently in big trouble with his mommy.....that would be me, his adopted mommy. If he wasn't such an adorable, fat puff-ball, he would have been banished years ago. The problem, you ask? Here's the short list:

  • He is soooo annoying in the morning. Kneading my neck to wake me up. Laying on my face to try and smother me....with love. I'm a loving person only after my caffeine injection.
  • I despise being awaken, in the middle of the night, by the sound of retching. I know, he's a fur ball in and of himself, but nothing puts me in a sour mood faster than slipping in cat puke in the dark. He needs to take more "Eych, Cat Hairball Remedy."












  • Why do cats and children put things in their mouths that are not food. That's probably the reason for Stanley puking as much as he does. He will eat Q-Tips, ribbon from presents, and his most recent favorite.....our computer chair! He sneaks out at night and has been steadily gnawing at the arms. The worst part about it? My SIL and BIL just gave us this chair because the stupid feline ate the arms off the last one!

  • Finally, my youngest is rather hard on kitties. But if Stanley doesn't shape up, I'm gonna sick her on him!




10 comments:

Anonymous said...

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! MELISSA! YOUR WALL KISSER BUG IS AT IT AGAIN! NOW SHE IS A GODZILLA KITTIE SMASHER-HEHEHEHEHEEEEE LOVE TO READ ABOUT YOUR KIDLETS-LOOK OUT ERMA-HERE COMES MELISSA!

Adelaine said...

NO KIDDING!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahaaaa!

And the slipping on the cat puke - priceless!

One to add - when some spoiled cat decides that their litter box is not clean enough in the middle of the night and decides to poop outside the box......then on a midnight milk run for the little one, you step right in it.....yeah - good times...

Lula! said...

Two things:
We sic our 2 year old on Lewis The Cat all the time. She can take him. He drives me NUTS. Maybe our cats can get together and start their own club. Wait, that's a recipe for disaster.

And...
Girl...I responded to your "Lullaby" comment on my blog, but I'll do it again here...
That song is on the particular playlist with the Muse and Aqualung ones. (Yeah--it's my moody mix.) I LOVE The Cure and that song, but to this day if frightens me. Very Kafka-esque. "Don't struggle like that or I will only love you more..." and "And I feel like I'm being eaten by a thousand million shivering furry holes..." were the 2 lines that brought me to my knees in fear.

But still...I love it. Just don't tell anyone I'm weird like that.

Adelaine said...

Oh my yes!! We are planning something similar for our little kitty angels. When we finish our basement (hopefully soon!!) we are going to put a kitty door in the room with the sump pump and that is going to be there potty!!! :) And heaven help them if they poop outside the door on our brand new carpet - some kitty will get kicked off the island!!!!

{Anissa} said...

I don't have any kitty's but I have a 7 month old puppy -- and believe me he is a hand full -- Aden my baby loves to lay on top of him -- His name is casper but Aden calls him caper -- He runs around calling him -- I guess to poke him with stuff -- since this is his favorite thing to do now.

Maternal Mirth said...

I love how the video ends with "Thunk!" and "Ok, that's enough..."

Between that video and the mental image of a cat just gnawing away at the arm of a chair has me in a fit of giggles!!

Karen said...

Melissa, you are just plain old funny. I get such a kick out of your posts! I wish I had known you when we were young, you must have been a real HOOT!! Oh wait......

Dee Dee's Diary said...

Melissa, I needed a laugh. That is the FUNNIEST Video. I am still laughing...I can't even type. Your kids are PRICELESS.

CroppinRobin said...

that emmy is a good kitty tamer, i must admit. however, it is a little interesting that tigger was happy to be in lockdown when the botley's came to visit....hmmmmm?

Debbie said...

Oh my gosh oh my gosh...that is so funny...oh I knew I needed to stop in here before I fed my kids breakfast...I am so behind in blogging...I will come back later to catch up.