What kind of crazy, begging-for-a-mental-breakdown woman takes 4 children (ages 7, 4,2, and 1) to a free movie at the local cinema? Well me, of course. A friend of mine mentioned that, during the summer, our movie theater shows movies that have already been released on DVD on the big screen and it's free! Nice idea. I decided to brave the unknown with her, her 5 boys, and my 3, plus the 1 year old boy I watch during the week. Luckily, the latter decided to nap for the movie, but then at the most inopportune moment my 7 year old says, "Mommy, I have to go the bathroom." Well, my 4 year old overheard this and decided she had to go, too. And then, you guessed it.....my 2 year old felt the urge. Okay, still with me? I inch my way out of the row, in the dark, with 4 children, one asleep on my shoulder and head for the lavatory. The woman that enter just before me was taking in one child and decided that she needed to use the family stall! The nerve of some people. Have you ever tried to fit 5 people into one of those dirty, nasty, smelly little water closets? Well, I didn't even attempt it. But, my 4 year old couldn't wait any longer to let loose, so right there with the door wide open, she disrobes and sits down on the potty. Have you ever tried to wipe one child while another is sleeping on your shoulder? Meanwhile, said rude lady who chose to take MY big, roomy stall is trying to get out and bumping into me while I'm standing in front of my four year old, trying to block her from the rest of the people who are waiting in line to use the bathroom. Clear as mud, right. So I kindly back up and proceed to head into the family stall with my brood. Did I mention I'm sweating? Refer to post entitled "Who Created Hot?". We all get pottied and washed up and head back into the theater. As we are walking down the hallway my 2 year old decides to snack on some recently dropped popcorn from the floor! Luckily, I intervened before it made entry. Eventually, we found our way back to the movie and the rest of our trip was pretty uneventful. I always wonder, am I the only mother stupid enough to attempt such feats? I hate stress. I hate sweat. But somehow, someway I always seem to end up on the receiving end of both! Totally, self-inflicted!