I had a rough night with Lauren. I'm having a hard time even thinking about how frustrated I get with my kids. I won't go into details, but I wonder, do other mothers struggle with the same things I do? I hate how short I can be sometimes and I'm always questioning, "Could I have handled that differently?" I yell a lot. My kids yell a lot. They are little mimics of us. I need to pray for more self control. They are kids, I'm not. Although, sometimes, I still feel like one, mentally. When did life get so hard? I know, in a sense, it has always had it's challeges, but this stage of my life has been, by far, the mosting difficult. I love my kids more than anything, but sometimes I don't think I show it by my words and actions.
Michael was honest with me about something tonight that he could have put off telling me. He got an F on a test because he didn't circle the answers in a section (I'm sure I don't know the whole story yet). He didn't have to confess right then, but he wanted to tell me because he was worried about it. I'm so thankful he did. I was able to talk to him without getting mad and I told he of some ways that he can avoid that in the future. It was nice to just talk about it. I'm glad it bothered him enough that he didn't want to keep it from me. I love that little boy so much!
Alright, I don't know if anything I have said makes any sense, but I'm just going to hit publish anyway. I am hanging in there......God is so good to me, even though I don't deserve it....Thank you, Jesus.